hey there. the name is Lu. Luanna fully... but I like going by Lu.
I've tried this whole blogging thing before and it's gone through phases... but I decided spur of the moment to start a brand new blog with a new title and a fresh start.
anyone who reads this probably knows who I am and my story... but here's a brief, brief version...
I'm currently 17, a senior... I've been homeschooled my whole life, I live in Kansas, I love algebra, photography, sleeping, and my iPhone, being with friends and family is what I live for, running is a passion and I love being outside... and most of all--I'm in love with God. (got no boyfriend)
My dad passed away 8 months ago from cancer... he left behind his wife, aka my mom, and me and my three siblings, Esther, Julianna and Karson. 13, 9, and 6.
Life has been crazy for me.... not what I would have expected it to be 5 years ago, but hey, that's okay. God's been with me every single moment and He is taking such good care of me and my family.
currently I'm sitting here listening to a playlist of music by girls on youtube and answering a question from a dmv practice test every few minutes... yeah, a driving practice test. I'm 17 and STILL don't have my permit or license. but that's okay. I'm just me... and me has been slower than most.
but you see, it's one of my biggest fears right now... that and getting a job. those two things have kinda been bugging me today, those especially at least. cause it means growing up... it means doing something where my mom won't be right there with me able to help me with my mistakes (well, driving she can, but not the job)... and I'm so so scared to do anything new... oh and I feel like everyone else has it down pat and it's no big deal--but I KNOW that's not true but I said "feel" so yeah...
how in the WORLD am I gonna do collage? 24 hours away by road trip... florida. florida the destination of mine for collage... and my mamma will be in Kansas... how? how?
I'm definitely at the point in life where I need to get a few things accomplished. like... a permit, a job, and other things...
but a part of me really doesn't want to... I don't WANT to study for that permit test {hold on let me answer the next question...okay, whatever why do I need to even know the answer to that question?}
I KNOW I can do all these things if I put my mind and energy to it... but how do I get to that point? just make myself? I guess... and trust God to help me get through it... because I don't think I will ever get around to it if I don't just DO it.
the idea of driving is SO fun... but then losing a family friend to a head on collision 3 weeks ago helped scare me off and I haven't studied for my permit since then... there is excitement and great fear with that.
having a job? oh how fun... earning money, being cool, whatever... but I will have to drive there, have hours, figure out a schedule with my already busy schedule and GO WITHOUT MY MOM...
Lu, remember I can do all things with Christ Who strengthens me...
okay, for some reason that isn't lifting my fears or anything... I'm still so scared.
okay, so all I'm really doing is rambling now... I'm gonna go now... excuse the raw feelings from the 17 year old...and feel free to give advice or whatever...
Love,
Luanna
P.S. posting twice a week every week if not more! :)
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